He climbed up the stairs to his room which was on the first floor of the duplex, he had rented this apartment a few months back and the landlord had promised him that he won't mind if Rahul comes late. But slowly he had started tightening the noose of time over his life, 10.30 is too late, everyone's asleep by then, who'll open the main gate for you? What do you do so late at night? I never knew that you were into things that could be done only so late otherwise I would have never rented this apartment, and each day he listened to him and walked off. He was now used to hearing these discourses everyday but today he was not in a mood to listen to anyone, how could she? he thought. It has been a year and a half and she had not called him or met him, and today when he saw her at the parking and approached her she just did not seem to recognize him! How can something like this happen? Did he not tell her that she would be the last in his long list of girlfriend, did he not tell her that he would die if she ever ditched him, and she with those looks in her eyes, those innocent dove shaped eyes nodded in affirmation, let leave those thoughts of freedom he did not want her back now, but what happened to the love? Where had that sublimed?
The landlord was just about to say something, but Rahul looked straight into his eyes, his own eyes were blood red, and knew he could keep at bay a vague statement or two by showing them, and he did. The landlord opened his mouth but speech did not find a way through it. It was different night he realized, but might still have underestimated the weight of the situation.
He opened the lock, the big Nav-Tal which had been given as a part of the rent, one key always remained downstairs, 'incase' the one with Rahul got misplaced, but Rahul knew that the room was being used, that was a matter, but of little concern when he realized that he could not help the situation anyway..
He looked up there was this loop stuck in concrete protruding from in the roof for the fan, it was meant to be quite strong, he wondered if this was his fate, everyone, his parents, his girlfriend, his friends might have loved him at one point of time or another but there was no one around, perhaps they were too busy, even the people he had shared so many smiles were too occupied for him, his girlfriend did not have the courtesy to hug him, when she saw him. What the worth of his own life? What was the point in living he asked himself?
He again looked at the loop, trying to imagine the grid of steel that kept the roof aloft, it was very strong his father had told him once, strong enough to keep another brick-house afloat over it, surely Rahul's weight was less, it could manage it without much effort on his frame.
He looked at his phone, perhaps there would be someone who will be keen on listening to him, for a few minutes, he went through the list of numbers in his contacts, 'Priya' was one of them. He looked at the diplay for a few minutes and touched the number. The phone showed a very beautiful picture of Priya, one that he took while she was still with him, a couple of years back that is, he heard her phone ring even though the loud-speaker was not turned on. There were some 20 rings that he counted, and then the familiar voice, "The person whom you are calling is not picking up the phone". He had made up his mi nd and he was going to execute his plan. He still browsed the phonebook, a lot of other people, some of whom will pick his call anyway, but he did not feel like talking to them, some of them would still not pick up his call, not understand the emergency, if he told them his state of mind they'd call his parents, or call some help, but not listen to him, not try to help him in this situation, not come to him, but they said they loved him, so perhaps they'd cry a tear or two, they'd think about him, about his life for a few minutes, they'd atleast remember him. The thought seemed very satisfying to him and he took the rope that he had kept for emergency. a strong nylon rope that could hold his weight. He looked around for a pedestrial, and found it in the form of TV stand, perhaps it would break, but that is the least he was bothered about today. He climbed up the stand but the look was still far away from him, he tried to through the rope and to his dismay his target was precise in the very first attempt. This was his fate and the cosmos was helping him realize it. He gathered the other end and wondered what to do with it, with some fumbling he got it right, precisely the way it should be, this was his end and he cared little about anything else.
He stood waiting, for some intervention, but there was silence all around him. There was nothing that could distract him any further. He held the nooze in his hands, felt the strength of the rope. Tried to pull it towards him, but the rope was strong, stronger than him. This non-living thing could make his life meaningless. Non-living. He felt his feet once. He would have to jump up and try to push the TV stand away, only then would he be able to suspend himself. Like life, death too came only by a plan, he wondered where did all the plans of life go? Did he not have a plan anymore? Could he not go to Priya's place and ask her once, if she could just as much as speak to him. Ask him if life could take another chance? The nooze formed a loop around his neck.But he could still go back and live. But her image of today did nothing to help the situation. It kept coming before him. His frame which was interrupting the light from the CFL was casting a shadow and in that shadow he was already dead. Suspended by the taut nylon that he had chosen as the means to achieve is ultimate objective of life. He realized that he could still live. He could still hope and he could still believe. He could make himself believe that Priya wasn't worth it. He lowered his head, the nooze tightened around his throat, hurting him, but he could not worry about these pains when the question of life itself appeared before him. He asked himself if this was his defeat. Rahul, couldn't be defeated. The rope which was hurting his throat had now tightened enough to press a nerve which may have lead to him losing his vision. Or perhaps it was a purely mental act. He realized what he was upto and dramatically tried to raise his arms to remove the rope. The disturbance was enough to shake the TV stand and eventually rupture it, before his hands could move and help himself alive. He tried to find firm ground where he could balance himself but there was none. He was atleast 3 feets above the floor, and was suspended by his neck from the roof. There was nothing that he could do about it except raise his hands swift enough to catch hold of rope and stop it from throttling his wind pipe. But his hands ceased to be in his control and the dark got darker. The light was losing its sheen. He was about to be dead. He heard something but couldn't make out what it was. The world had blackened. There was no life.
Rahul found himself in the midst of white sheets, his vision had still not come back properly, everything appeared misty to him. Everything appeared white.He thought he had traveled the distance, to the other world. The misty world that he had so much heard about. Till a familiar voice broke the silence that had surrounded him. "Will everything be fine doctor?", "I can make out that this chap tried to commit suicide!", "Oh no, it was an accident. He was trying to hand the ceiling fan which the rope tied around him to avoid falling", "Around the neck?" the doctor asked cynically. The landlord did not reply. He did not know what he could say. He just came to Rahul and lovingly touched his forehead with his rough hands and then started caressing his hair.
The landlord was just about to say something, but Rahul looked straight into his eyes, his own eyes were blood red, and knew he could keep at bay a vague statement or two by showing them, and he did. The landlord opened his mouth but speech did not find a way through it. It was different night he realized, but might still have underestimated the weight of the situation.
He opened the lock, the big Nav-Tal which had been given as a part of the rent, one key always remained downstairs, 'incase' the one with Rahul got misplaced, but Rahul knew that the room was being used, that was a matter, but of little concern when he realized that he could not help the situation anyway..
He looked up there was this loop stuck in concrete protruding from in the roof for the fan, it was meant to be quite strong, he wondered if this was his fate, everyone, his parents, his girlfriend, his friends might have loved him at one point of time or another but there was no one around, perhaps they were too busy, even the people he had shared so many smiles were too occupied for him, his girlfriend did not have the courtesy to hug him, when she saw him. What the worth of his own life? What was the point in living he asked himself?
He again looked at the loop, trying to imagine the grid of steel that kept the roof aloft, it was very strong his father had told him once, strong enough to keep another brick-house afloat over it, surely Rahul's weight was less, it could manage it without much effort on his frame.
He looked at his phone, perhaps there would be someone who will be keen on listening to him, for a few minutes, he went through the list of numbers in his contacts, 'Priya' was one of them. He looked at the diplay for a few minutes and touched the number. The phone showed a very beautiful picture of Priya, one that he took while she was still with him, a couple of years back that is, he heard her phone ring even though the loud-speaker was not turned on. There were some 20 rings that he counted, and then the familiar voice, "The person whom you are calling is not picking up the phone". He had made up his mi nd and he was going to execute his plan. He still browsed the phonebook, a lot of other people, some of whom will pick his call anyway, but he did not feel like talking to them, some of them would still not pick up his call, not understand the emergency, if he told them his state of mind they'd call his parents, or call some help, but not listen to him, not try to help him in this situation, not come to him, but they said they loved him, so perhaps they'd cry a tear or two, they'd think about him, about his life for a few minutes, they'd atleast remember him. The thought seemed very satisfying to him and he took the rope that he had kept for emergency. a strong nylon rope that could hold his weight. He looked around for a pedestrial, and found it in the form of TV stand, perhaps it would break, but that is the least he was bothered about today. He climbed up the stand but the look was still far away from him, he tried to through the rope and to his dismay his target was precise in the very first attempt. This was his fate and the cosmos was helping him realize it. He gathered the other end and wondered what to do with it, with some fumbling he got it right, precisely the way it should be, this was his end and he cared little about anything else.
He stood waiting, for some intervention, but there was silence all around him. There was nothing that could distract him any further. He held the nooze in his hands, felt the strength of the rope. Tried to pull it towards him, but the rope was strong, stronger than him. This non-living thing could make his life meaningless. Non-living. He felt his feet once. He would have to jump up and try to push the TV stand away, only then would he be able to suspend himself. Like life, death too came only by a plan, he wondered where did all the plans of life go? Did he not have a plan anymore? Could he not go to Priya's place and ask her once, if she could just as much as speak to him. Ask him if life could take another chance? The nooze formed a loop around his neck.But he could still go back and live. But her image of today did nothing to help the situation. It kept coming before him. His frame which was interrupting the light from the CFL was casting a shadow and in that shadow he was already dead. Suspended by the taut nylon that he had chosen as the means to achieve is ultimate objective of life. He realized that he could still live. He could still hope and he could still believe. He could make himself believe that Priya wasn't worth it. He lowered his head, the nooze tightened around his throat, hurting him, but he could not worry about these pains when the question of life itself appeared before him. He asked himself if this was his defeat. Rahul, couldn't be defeated. The rope which was hurting his throat had now tightened enough to press a nerve which may have lead to him losing his vision. Or perhaps it was a purely mental act. He realized what he was upto and dramatically tried to raise his arms to remove the rope. The disturbance was enough to shake the TV stand and eventually rupture it, before his hands could move and help himself alive. He tried to find firm ground where he could balance himself but there was none. He was atleast 3 feets above the floor, and was suspended by his neck from the roof. There was nothing that he could do about it except raise his hands swift enough to catch hold of rope and stop it from throttling his wind pipe. But his hands ceased to be in his control and the dark got darker. The light was losing its sheen. He was about to be dead. He heard something but couldn't make out what it was. The world had blackened. There was no life.
Rahul found himself in the midst of white sheets, his vision had still not come back properly, everything appeared misty to him. Everything appeared white.He thought he had traveled the distance, to the other world. The misty world that he had so much heard about. Till a familiar voice broke the silence that had surrounded him. "Will everything be fine doctor?", "I can make out that this chap tried to commit suicide!", "Oh no, it was an accident. He was trying to hand the ceiling fan which the rope tied around him to avoid falling", "Around the neck?" the doctor asked cynically. The landlord did not reply. He did not know what he could say. He just came to Rahul and lovingly touched his forehead with his rough hands and then started caressing his hair.
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